Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
