Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
