porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
