garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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