Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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