But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
my poor anus
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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