break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
What happened to fro yo and sex?
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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