Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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