The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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