This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
