Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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