so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
