im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
