It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Can I color on your dick again?
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
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