Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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