Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
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