Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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