I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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