dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
