we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
time to smoke my breakfast
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
