Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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