why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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