stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
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