Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
