Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize