I want to make a zoo with you.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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