what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
