Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
