I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Randomize
