theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
