like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
