I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
