yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
