She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
