Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
