i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
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Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
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I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I had to cum in my sink.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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