yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
