her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
