somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
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