We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
