We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
