conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
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