He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
My liver just had a heart attack.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
