i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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