it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
