You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize