the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
