Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
