Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize