I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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