great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
