I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
