You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
