Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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