Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
