One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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