Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
