Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
How does one acquire holy water?
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
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