Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
