You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
