I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
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The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
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I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.